A Letter from My 20-Year Old Self

A Letter from My 20-Year Old Self

Aug 22

This was 5 years ago. It’s amazing what you discover in your old email inbox. Don’t worry, I don’t always write letters to myself. But I totally forgot what made me write this narcissistic note. Could’ve been an English subject requirement or just a random crazy rant. But now, reading through it just gave me a whole new perspective on how to answer the question, “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?”

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Dear Self,

Hello Coy! How are you? Or should I ask – How are we?

I’m happy that we’re pretty satisfied and contented with our lives right now. I can’t exactly say we’re very happy but as long as we sleep soundly at night, it’s all fine by me.

It’s been a hectic week, hasn’t it? A hectic year, even. Being 2 decades old does not only add lines to our face but also add responsibilties and new roles to our busy lives. I must admit we’ve neglected a lot of things this year because of the additional work but it’s actually been a deep, learning experience for me – for us.

Sad to say, but ever since we became the president of our church’s youth organization, we’ve been distant from our friends. It’s not like high school anymore where our social lives seemed to be the center of our universe. It’s like there’s more to life than what you see that you have to see in able to grow. Wow. I’m getting too deep, am not I? Anyway, at least we stay in touch with our old friends every now and then. We also have started to reach out to friends we had conflict with. And I’m glad that we meet new acquaintances on a weekly basis. It isn’t too bad being president. We get respect and we’re popular. What more do we want? Hehe.

We’ve been bad students this year. And sadly, it’s also because of our brand new responsibility. I think we just got really excited with the new challenge that we forgot everything else. We flunked one subject, and removed another. Not really the straight “uno” our mother was hoping for. But we promised that we will change and manage our time well. It’s not about what we’re doing wrongly. It’s all about balance. Well, we’re off to a pretty good start this semester. Hope it will be consistent.

Speaking of ma, it has not been our best year as son to our parents. I don’t know, we’re 20 years old but it looks like we just started puberty. We’re always not in the mood to talk and to bond. I think it’s all hormones so I’m grateful that our parents seem to understand the “changes” we are going through – whatever it is. Don’t tell anyone but it’s always a treat when mom gives us her hugs and kisses even if we always resist. It brings us back to that feeling of innocence, a moment that we feel almost childlike. I love that. Hehe. I remembered our brother, Jet-jet, just now. He maybe annoying sometimes but we got closer with him this year.

We may have neglected a lot of stuff but I’m proud that we never forgot our duties to God. Yes, we had our ups and downs but for us, there’s no “me” without Him. I’m happy that we’ve been pretty obedient and religious this year and we’re actually having fun! And I’m thankful that everything else followed greatly. I know we’re on the right path.

Of course, we need some more improvements. Our life may not be perfect but it won’t stop us from being happy. Like I said it’s not about what we do wrong but balance. If we can only find that special symmetry with ourselves, friends, school, family, and God, then it will be all smiles for us. Making a life plan will be a good start but it won’t hurt to be spontaneous once in a while.

As I see it, there is a bright future ahead of us, Coy. I’m planning to be more organized with our lives without taking out any mystery and excitement from it. But wait, wouldn’t it be better if we do it with everyone else? President, remember? We can share our experiences and knowledge to them! That’s our new mission! Sounds like a challenge, right? We love challenges! And I know we can do it together! At least we know when it’s all over for us, in this life at least, that we have inspired and left a mark on someone. I would like for us to be remembered as someone who made a huge difference in his own little way.

May you have great happiness and health. God bless!

Your friend,

Philip Marco “Coy” Caballes, 2005

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Today, it feels like life is too cluttered for me to recognize what to prioritize. It got so confusing. I just realized that all I needed all along was for my past self to remind me what truly matters.

P.S. IT’S AWESOME TO BE BACK!

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